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I've actually left my car running.Īnna: Ah! Well, we take data from weather stations all over the world, along with atmospheric samples, and we take all that and we feed it into this state-of-the-art "computer," and very soon we'll be getting a high-tech readout of the results.Īnna: Ah, I should just say um. I can say without any hesitation there is really no cause for any concern here. Megan: Well, you sound very confident about that.Īnna: Oh, very much so. And we want to be able to reassure the public once and for all that there's absolutely nothing to worry about, and that they can enjoy their sunstroke and fossil fuels in peace! Megan: And, you're part of the team carrying out a study into just what's causing this unbelievable heat, is that right?Īnna: Yes, that's correct, yes. Are you enjoying the weather as much as I am?Īnna: Oh, yes, it's wonderful, isn't it? My eyelids are sweating. I'm here with Dr Anna Burns of the University of Princeford. Megan: Are you sure you don't want a drink?Īnna: Oh! Hahahaha! Oh, go on then, ha.Īnna: Just the one, I am supposed to be working.ġ Jeremy: Megan? How's the weather there? Megan is dressed in a swimsuit, standing next to a scientist, Anna Burns, dressed in a lab coat with a computer and a printer. First, let's go to Megan Wolfe, in Shining-On-Sea, to see what the scientific community has to say.
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Jeremy: But first tonight, our team of correspondents has been dispatched to every corner of the country to see how the people of this great nation of ours are coping with this unprecedented hot weather. Jeremy: Viewers? We still have some of those, do we? Perhaps they're hoping to run into a fact. Jenny: Could you be a little more dismissive in your delivery? I think there's a viewer out there somewhere who missed it. Jeremy: And after that, I'll be asking my own thumb what it thinks about the global financial situation, as well as what three members of the general public think about how a nuclear reactor might work. That's up on tonight's National Nightly News. Jeremy: All this, and I'll be talking to some people with fascinating medical conditions, as well as one of the contenders in this year's feline football championship, and her proud owner. Sounds like an average Christmas in the Donaldson household. Jeremy: Although they claim to be a non-violent organisation, many witnesses to the unauthorised protest reported an atmosphere of menace and barely concealed anger. In a statement from Team Headquarters a short time ago, Prime Minister Julia Salisbury issued a commanding response to this unprovoked escalation. Jeremy: Siege Mentality: The World Council today established a military blockade to enforce the unjust and punitive sanctions now entering their tenth week. Jeremy: So, got any actual real news tonight? Jenny: He's here to keep us safe from people like Disrupt. Jeremy: I don't know what the fuck his name is, do I?! Jeremy: Yes, but he is, our gun-toting handler. Jenny: You know, I genuinely thought you'd be in a better mood today. Jeremy: Classical allusions are no substitute for air conditioning. Jenny: Yes, they've just strapped on their wax wings. Jeremy: What? You've got someone to hose down the sun, have you? Jeremy: I'm sweating like Peter Clement in an off licence here! Jeremy is at the anchor desk, fanning himself with his note cards. But first, let's go over to Jeremy Donaldson for the National Nightly News. Dr Adrian Atkinson-Blimey will be chatting with a 6-year-old chess prodigy at 11:30 before the Weather and close down at just after midnight. That's followed at 7:30 by a double bill of movies as we show Alabama Jones and the Last of the Nazis, followed by its controversial sequel, Alabama Jones 2 - Whoops! Looks Like I Missed a Few at 9:15. At 6:30, Megan Wolfe is at the beach chatting with members of the general public for a special heatwave edition of Your Part of Town. Voiceover: Well, in less than a minute we'll be going live to the Newsroom, but before that, let's take a quick peek at tonight's scorching line up. Alex hears an announcement from Boseman.īoseman: Don't forget about that pesky power button on the fan. Not only has the third VHS player been replaced with a functioning unit, the phone has been replaced with an intercom speaker. Pre-broadcast Announcements from Boseman